23 Jan 2020

Date: 2015-03-26
Words: 369

7 Top Reason Why You Should Get Less Sleep

  1. You will feel cranky and act like an idiot when you are around other people. This means you will fit it perfectly with all the other assholes who are behaving that way. If by some chance you are within a group of people who have had enough sleep and are acting in a civilized manner this is your chance to stand out and really make a name for yourself.
  2. Regardless of what you eat your metabolism will lean towards making you fat. So no more rabbit food for you. You may as well eat whatever you want. You don’t have to count calories, eat in moderation or do anything. It frees up your mind to think about other things. Like how to get even less sleep.
  3. Regardless of whether you are any good at something or not, and chances are you’re not, you can always brag about how little sleep you’re getting and what a great person this makes you. After all the AMA has been training it’s doctors that way for years.
  4. You know you are a genius. And the less sleep you get the more you know this. Experiments by the American military show that the less sleep people get the more convinced they became that their skills are improving. Hell who needs to pay for drugs when you can just stay up longer.
  5. Next time some attractive person hits on you, you can legitimately say “not tonight I’m just too tired”. And if you’re married it can be a relationship saver. Who wants to be the first to say things have gotten stale and no I don’t want to work at it. You should be looking after me.
  6. You automatically are entered as a contestant into the Darwin Awards. No papers to fill out. No having to beg your friends for an anonymous nomination. With over 80% of all accidents, mistakes and general fuck ups being traced back to lack of sleep, you are a shoo-in.

No need for any more reasons. Sleep deprivation gives you an automatic pass on making mistakes. So even if the title says 7 you’re covered.

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